Shades of Grey
by DavidFurnas
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto was just a regular boy, going to a regular school, hanging out with regular friends. That, however all changed when his "Night Life" started to collide with his "Day Life". This is the story of how Naruto's ordinary life got hijacked by the "Monster Hunter" Kyuubi. Told from Naruto and Kyuubi's Point of View.
1. Chapter 1

**Lightest Shade of Grey C1**

I guess you could say it is not the first time I had this dream and yet, it is never the same.

_A western manor on the top of a hill, the full moon beyond the clouds and rain as I walk towards it._

This dream is the same to hundreds I had before. It is always different, yet it always works the same way. First comes the approach, always calm and methodical.

_I knock on the large wooden double doors. A woman answers in a western maid outfit. She asks me who I am and what business I have here. "I have an appointment with Mr. *******."_

I can never remember anything about the "Victims", neither their names nor even how they look.

_She allows me in, as they always do. They never mind the fact that I did not tell my name nor that it's long passed midnight. I walk slowly through the corridor behind the maid, slowly taking in my surroundings. My raincoat drips as I walk, but the maid says nothing, she just walks, leading me towards her master._

After the approach comes the literal "calm before the storm", the time it takes from the moment everything stops being just another night in the "Victims" life to the moment when somebody actually notices that something is wrong.

_I am lead into the main hall. A man comes down the stairs towards me, what I could only assume to be his wife and daughter watching from the balcony. As he approaches me I can see the the details in him that show that he was expecting me. His black suit is creased, his *** hair is not as perfect as all the other times I had seen him and a glare was perfectly visible on his normally ***** face._

Most would have tried to run by now. "My" face seems to always be known to the "Victims" after all. I have seen many a man fall down to his knees from just looking at "My" face, some beg for mercy, some claim to have been falsely accused, "I" have even been offered people as slaves in return for mercy on occasion. But in the end it always comes down to the same conclusion.

"_So you have come for me." the man says with his ****** voice. He dismisses his servants from the room with a slight wave of the hand and all of them leave, except for the maid that let me in. "Not just for you, but for them as well." the man understands that I refer to his wife and daughter on the balcony. He snarls at me, his fangs clearly visible. "I will not let you have them hunter!" he shouts as if I would allow any conclusion except for the one I envision. He leaps at me, though most would say he flew at me, claws extended from his fingers making for my neck. I react, I draw my weapon from beneath my cloak, a revolver, 8 bullets, aim and fire._

The P33 Pereira, "My" weapon of choice. Laser pointer, 8 bullets, and enough power to shoot straight through almost anything, or anyone.

_He dodges in mid air like only a creature like him could. I see the bullet hit the back wall. And by the time I stop looking at it I can already feel his presence behind me making a swipe with his claws at my head. He does not hit. Gravity is so convenient, just take somethings support and it just falls down with the least effort required. I used this to my advantage and brought my body to a crouch under his swiping hand. My revolver is incorrectly placed to aim at him without exposing my back anymore than necessary, but there is an easy solution to that problem. I draw my second revolver from under my cloak and before he understands what happened it's barrel is pressing against his jaw. His pupils widen and I can clearly see his fear. I press the trigger. His body presses against me but I just push it aside. I get back up and look up at the balcony to find only one woman. Tears run down her face from her *** ****** eyes. I aim at her. She does not try to run nor fight. I press the trigger again._

My eyes open. I feel tired, like I did not sleep enough last night though I know that is in no way true. I always believed that a good night sleep is one of the most important things to have before any occasion. Or at least I did after my mother practically beat it into me. I am Uzumaki Naruto, son of Uzumaki Kushina and Namikaze Minato. And this is the story of how my life went from completely normal to complete chaos.

**Darkest Shade of Grey C1**

The return from one of the "Hunts" is always an odd process. Before arriving to Naruto's home I pass through a lot of "Interesting" people, and being covered in blood never helps much. Their gazes at me are hostile most of the time so I keep my hands near my holsters at all times. I do not do this for my own safety, for I trust my reaction time in almost all situations, I do this for Naruto, because should he find a wound in this body, then it would create a mess of colossal proportions. Who I am is not of importance, but you can call me Kyuubi, and this is the story of how I created a mess of colossal proportions.


	2. Chapter 2

**Lightest Shade of Grey C2**

A week has passed since that one weirder dream. I say weirder because of all the times I had that kind of dream that was the first time a "Victim" actually got away from "Me". I had not had on of those dreams since and I have been waking up pretty well rested these days. This is a normal pattern, after a dream there is a "rest period" of anywhere from a week to entire months.

I am currently walking to school. Today I woke up earlier than usual so I decided to get ready and take my time walking. It won't take long before she catches up to me so I will try to put this in perspective before she does. Uzumaki Naruto, student of Konoha Highschool and childhood friend of one Haruno Sakura. I say childhood friend but I don't actually like to be called that. Anyone who as ever watched anime should understand why. People just get the wrong idea when they hear that nowadays. They automatically think that Sakura is either a Tsundere for me or a someone I meet when I was a kid, befriended then we somehow promised to marry one another before she left and she then returns to fulfill that promise. Neither of those are true, honest. Sakura is weird, but not like that.

"Naruto!" I hear her scream behind me. I brace myself. This routine is so old it stopped being funny a couple of years ago. She collides with my back at full speed and I just barely keep us from both falling to the ground. "Naruto, you meanie!" she calls out from behind me, her fists lightly hitting my back. "Why would you leave and say nothing to me?" she asks.

As I said, Sakura is weird. She insists on acting like this all the time. Sakura is one of the top 10 students on the school, both in academics and sports. Most guys in school get pissed at me because she is always hanging off of me. They like her because of this ditzy persona she created. They are idiots. The real Sakura is not like this one in any way possible. You can sometimes see "Real Sakura" if you can either really surprise her or really piss her off and believe me, she is not someone you want to mess with. "Sorry Sakura," I say trying to get my right hand to my head, an habit I have had since I was a kid, and failing because of Sakura's arms around my body. "I just wanted to walk a little in the quiet today." I say trying to tease her a little.

Sakura lets go of me and I turn to look at her pouting face. "Naruto! Such a slanderous comment is enough to bring about the highest of punishments! You are hereby on slave duty for the rest of the day!" she shouts practically jabbing her finger in my eye.

She does this sometimes. Slave duty, is not as great of a punishment as the name would imply. Just call her "Sakura-sama" and make sure she is fed for the day, usually by going to the cafeteria and buying her a sandwich or 3. "Of course Sakura-sama. I am sorry Sakura-sama." I say bowing in good spirit.

She looks at me with a critical eye, as if actually evaluating my performance, before says "Good enough for now slave." and starts walking ahead of me. I follow her in true slave like fashion three steps behind her.

We reach our classroom in this manner and when everyone sees me walking behind Sakura instead of beside her they all know what just happened. Some guys actually facepalm after realizing and some girls giggle. This is routine around here after all. I make a show off of puling Sakura's chair in order for her to sit before I sit on the seat to her left. My seat is next to the window and has a perfect view of the school's courtyard where I can regularly see other classes having P.E.. There is another seat behind mine but no one sits there.

In front of me sits one Inuzuka Kiba, he's a cool guy even though he as a thing for constantly complaining about not having a girlfriend. We still have some time before the bell rings and Iruka-sensei, our homeroom teacher, walks in so Kiba turns to me and starts telling me some conspiracy theory that linked his sister always messing with him around the house to how he doesn't have a girlfriend.

_As if Hana has nothing better to do that get her friends to spread around posters slandering him. Stupid mutt._

As Kiba ends this story he asks me to help him find these posters and thankfully before I get a chance to answer the bell rings and Iruka-sensei walks in. We have a transfer student joining us today he says. 10 to 1 says it's a cute girl. Believe me on this, I know the dean of this school.

I was right. Red hair, red eyes, good figure and cute face. Says her name is Kurama. But more importantly, you must be wandering what I meant when I talked about the dean. Well he is my godfather, a man by the name of Jiraiya, he is the biggest pervert on the face of the earth and he is on a crusade to create me a harem. He plans to achieve this by arranging the class rosters so that all the cute girls in my year are on my class. Thus in my class there are only 4 guys, me, Kiba, Akimichi Choji and Nara Shikamaru. Jiraiya said they are in the class so people don't get suspicious but that I should not worry because they are just a bunch of "Herbivores", Choji because he cares more about eating that anything else, Shikamaru because he cares more about sleeping that anything else and Kiba because he was already housebroken by his sister and mother. Jiraiya's words, not mine.

The girl Kurama, sits on the seat behind mine and I can somehow feel her gaze on the back of my neck for the rest of the day.

Classes are over. The girl Kurama grabs my shoulder as I pack my stuff. "Come with me." she says.

"Another one? Screw you Naruto!" Kiba says before grabbing his stuff and storming out of the classroom. I feel he somehow misunderstood something but whatever. I turned back to Kurama to see her waiting for me at the door out of the classroom. I look at Sakura and shrug. I follow Kurama out of the school building in to the hill behind the school.

As I follow I can feel the pressure in my skull rising. I probably should not have come with her. This is starting to look to much like a manga like scene. In a couple of minutes I will probably be attacked by some kind of evil monster. Kurama will kiss me and gain some kind of super power and defeat the monster. She will then reveal that she is a monster hunter, that I am the "chosen one" and that only by kissing me will she be able do defeat these evil monsters and save the world... Somehow I doubt that is going to happen...

When I stop musing on this manga like scenario I find us on a clearing in the forest. Where her eyes always slitted? Why do her nails look like claws? And why are those claws currently heading towards my head? I realize, she is trying to kill me. She is pretty close to me already, and she started her motion from the other side of the rather large clearing. This speed is not something that humans are capable of. Of course neither are having slitted pupils or having claws for nails but I digress. I realize I can't dodge her. I feel fear for my life and I close my eyes awaiting the pain that would come.

**Darkest Shade of Grey C2**

I open my eyes and move. My left hand grabs her wrist and my right her forearm before I toss her over my body using her own momentum against her. She rolls await from me as I try to stomp her head into the ground with my heel. She gets up, her red slitted eyes glaring into my red slitted eyes. "When you escaped, I honestly expected one of two things. Either you would run away from me the rest of your life or you would try to gain some kind of ability to kill me and avenge your parents. I, however, never expect that not even two weeks after you escaped you would just come here. Do you believe yourself strong enough to defeat me in combat?" I ask, curious on her reasoning.

"A coward like you, I can kill you anytime I wish!" she snarls, remembering me of her father.

"You say that, yet come at me when I am unarmed and unprepared." I say back to her. "But it does not matter. Your father was not strong enough to fight me even if I had been unarmed. A child like you would be better off running."

"I will kill you!" she shouts as she runs at me. Unlike her father, this one did not understand that frontal assaults are useless against me. Her anger clouds her judgment, her pattern of attack is obvious. She will go for the head with an overly wide motion. I will finish this in a single move.

As she reaches me she spins to her right showing me her back. Had I my weapons here I would have put 4 rounds in her spine before she even ended this motion. Finally, her right hand comes, in a backhand motion claws aimed at my face. I duck under it. Gravity is incredibly convenient after all. Her face wide in surprise, her neck fully exposed to me. I swipe at it with my right hand. Just enough so my nails can touch her neck and just before contact I force them to change into claws. Blood flows from the wound, as she clutches her neck. This will not be enough to kill one of her kind. I let her fall to the ground before thrusting my right hand straight into her chest and piercing her heart.

"Kyuubi, you are not supposed to be awake." I hear her voice, Haruno Sakura, so I look up at her. I remove my hand from Kurama's chest cavity and let my claws regress back to regular nails.

"It sure has been a while, Haruno Sakura. I trust you have been keeping out of trouble?" I ask feeling a smirk etching itself on my face against my will. The glare in her face does not leave. "Fangs-on-legs over here wanted to take a swipe at Naruto. I fixed that problem."

The glare on her face now diminishes a little. "We are going to have to dump the body." she says as she starts moving towards Kurama's body.

"I say we just leave it there... The wildlife will take care of that problem for us." a smirk again. Another glare.

Here is where it gets interesting. Haruno bends down to pick up the corpse. Corpse gasps and grabs Haruno's arm.

"Well, that's new..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Lightest Shade of Grey C3**

I wake up in my bed. My head aches and I feel the sting of small cuts all over my body. That will teach my not to play around steep hills after school. I get up and prepare myself to go to school. The doorbell rings, it is probably Sakura so I get my bag and head out the door. It isn't Sakura.

In front of my door is the new girl, Kurama. "Naruto, I came to see if you are okay, after de accident yesterday. It is kind of my fault anyway..." she says looking sheepish.

Right, I was with her when it happened, but it was my fault for playing around. "It's okay, there was no need to come all the way here just to check up on me you know?" I say my right hand scratching the back of my head.

For a moment I can spot some hesitation on her face but then it was gone. "Well since I came all the way here we might as well go to school together." the quite frankly evil looking smirk on her face as she said this combined with a voice practically dripping honey as she said this left me a bit confused, though my deer-in-the-headlight face in this particular moment were more because as she said that she grabbed my left arm before burying it firmly between her breasts as she linked both of her arms around it and started leading me to school. I felt I missed a very crucial part of the story.

This lasted for 5 seconds, before I felt a chill going up my spine and stopped. The fact that Kurama's smirk grew even larger or that I could feel a very dark presence behind me did not help in any way. Somewhere in my head I heard a voice _"I would run if I were you."_ which having in mind the sound advise it gave me I shall start calling from now as instinct.

Let it never be said that the human is an intelligent creature, because if he is than only the female ones actually inherited this trait. Then again in this case you should say that female humans are intelligent creatures so just ignore that last part. I did not run.

I turned back. Behind me I found the most scariest creature I will ever meet in my life. Blood red eyes, fur waving on non existing wind and a pitch black aura that did not allow me to see anything behind it. It was Sakura. It stand corrected, it was angry Sakura, not to be confused with ordinary Sakura.

"You... What the hell do you think you are doing?" it hissed. At which point I my throat was so dry you could practically consider it a desert. I tried to answer. "Shut up! Nobody asked you anything!" it interrupted me.

I was mesmerized. Could I have possibly escaped the anger of this horrible creature so easily? It must in someway be a trick of some kind. "I was walking to school with Naruto-san. Is there a problem with that Haruno-san?" Kurama answered and I only now noticed that Kurama had been addressing me without honorifics since we met this morning. I don't mind that though, it's easier to talk to people without always having in mind your relation with them, it allows for that relation to change more easily and helps become friends with someone faster, or at least that's my opinion on the subject.

At these words there seemed to be some random twitches from Angry Sakura's hands as if she were trying to strangle someone. Must have been my imagination.

Angry Sakura recedes into normal Sakura and she stepped up to me grabbing my right arm before imitating Kurama by grabbing it against her chest. Notice the distinction in this line, the way in which I said chest and not breasts. Sakura is not completely flat, but one must admit that in the way she grabbed my arm I was feeling more chest than actual breasts.

By the time this inner monologue ended I was already walking to school, being escorted by too rather attractive women and I could not help but wonder "What the hell did I miss here?".

_I would rather compare the situation to having a lit match in one hand and a tank of gasoline in the other._

Apparently my instinct is pretty good with comparisons...

As we reached our school I was victim of the very first "assassination" attempt on my life since I was born. "Die! You damn Casanova!" shouted Kiba as he tried to charge me with a rather sharp pencil... Choji, being the nice guy that he was, was holding Kiba back with only one hand. Again, Kiba does not realize how potentially explosive this situation can be.

By the time the bell rings I am actually scared for the lives of all the people in this room. Sakura keeps glaring at Kurama as if she could make her combust with her mind. That would actually be a cool ability to have. Walking down a street and some guy tries to to mug you? Burn him with your mind! I need to stop watching so much anime... Either way this was pretty much how my day went. Kurama trying to step in Sakura's territory, and Sakura fighting to stop her at every turn... The voice in my head likes to exaggerate things.

I reach home at the end of the day. I am tired, so I just eat and go to my room. I fall asleep in my bed.

I wake up, to an unfamiliar weight on my abdomen. I open my eyes. For a moment my blurry vision made me think my mother is on top of me but as the blurriness goes away I see Kurama on top of me. The room is strangely cold, so my window must be open. "What are you-" I manage to say before she takes her leg and presses it against my crotch. I make an extremely manly sound which did not in any way sound like a moan. She kisses my open mouth, tongue and all. I don't know what possessed me then but I kissed back and did not even pay much attention to the feel of her fangs against my tongue. When we stop I am out of breath, and I honestly could not care less about what the hell she was doing in my room in the first place. I soon would know either way.

Here is where it gets weird. "The truth is, I like Naruto." she says next to my ear. "And people like me have something we do to the people we like." at this point I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. "You see, I am a Vampire." she said in true vampire fashion, by which I mean that she bit my neck.

I am now certain. I missed something.

_... What the hell just happened?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Lightest Shade of Grey C4**

Normally I would start this sentence with "I wake up.", unfortunately I didn't get much sleep after Kurama came over. Actually I didn't get any. Not to say we were up all night doing this and that, I was the only one who stayed awake and I honestly don't understand how she could just fall asleep on top of me like it's nobody's business. At this moment I would say that this cannot get any worse but it will.

Most kids nowadays would say I have a mother complex if I described my mother to them. They don't know what they are talking about. Uzumaki Kushina is the single most badass mother I have ever met. I have seen her get into a all out brawl with more than 10 fully grown man and beat the crap out of all of them. That is not to say she is the greatest mother ever, just the most badass.

The point to all of this you may ask? Well she just opened the door to my room. Now she is standing there with her mouth wide open. Here is where the real mess begins. Kurama wakes up and moves so she is sitting no my abdomen. Strange... I honestly do not remember her being topless... It will be a this specific moment that I will realize that Kurama has made her personal mission in live to torment me. "Good morning, Okaa-sama." she said looking straight at Kushina with the most innocent smile I will ever see on her face for the entire duration of my life.

Kushina leaves the room and closes the door behind her. I honestly don't know what I am supposed to do in this situation. Someone more knowledgable than me on the subject should write a book on this. I even have a name for you "Convincing your mother not to kill you after she sees you with a half naked woman in your bed for dummies.". I understand that it's a mouthful but had you written this book before I got into this mess then maybe, well, I wouldn't be in this mess.

She gets off of me really exaggerating her every motion as if she wants me to look... Thinking about it now, she probably wants me to. You know what? Screw it, I'm looking and I'm not even going to pretend that I'm not.

She bends over to pick up her t-shirt...

_Gravity is so convenient..._

What the voice in my head just said... She puts the t-shirt on and the show is over. "Should I tell mom to prepare breakfast for you too?" was the first thing that came to my head to say. Actually I think I did rather good. But then again I am comparing myself to anime characters... Someone should write a book about this too. There is the day-after pill, they should make the day-after manual. If I sold some of these ideas I could probably go rich... Well that our be hated by 50% percent of the world population and no I don't know which half.

"Please Naruto." she answers back to me, with this one weird smile on her face. As if she understands how close I am to skipping town just so I don't have to have this next conversation with my mother and just because of that she will just stick around so she can watch it all. I am hereby moving to promote her from vampire to full on demon! All in favor say "aye".

"_**aye**"_

Weird, for a moment there there seemed to be more than two voices in my head... Must be my imagination. So I step out of the room and into the kitchen in which my mother is usually at at this hour cooking breakfast. Usually. There is a note on the table saying she left the house for whatever reason. I stopped reading the moment it read she left the house. I got back up the stairs, entered my mother's room and look into the closet. "Mother." I say to her.

"Naruto." she says back.

"We need to talk about what you have seen."

Let's skip this awkward conversation forward, and ignore the fact that my mother hid herself in the closet. Let's skip forward the breakfast talk between Kushina and Kurama and ignore the fact that somehow Kushina ended up offering the guest room to Kurama because she apparently is staying at some hotel while she looks for a house. Let's just skip everything and say that in the end everybody ends up ************ and Kyuubi was actually a ************... We can't do that? Dammit. So we left the house to head to school. And as I closed the gate behind me I suddenly got the feeling I forgot something very important... And I don't mean that I should stop Sakura from choking Kurama to death.

Just so you know what I am about to do is incredibly stupid and had I asked this question at any other moment it would have not caused nowhere near the chain reaction of pure chaos that my life would soon become.

"What the hell did you mean last night by saying that you are a vampire?" yes, I am all that is stupid. I insight I perfectly understand my idiocy and also what that strange almost facepalm like noise echoing in my mind is.

So yeah, lesson of the day, Kurama is a vampire, I am an idiot and Sakura has dog ears on top of her head... Sometimes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Lightest Shade of Grey C5**

Many times in my life I have listed to men praise the "perfection" of the lap pillow. Well, mostly only Kiba. Nope, just Kiba... Still I went into this situation with reasonably high expectation, after all, all my sources of information were in consensus about this. Still just Kiba for those of you not following me. I must say... I was disappointed.

Maybe Kiba was just full of shit. Maybe there was something wrong with me... Maybe the problem was that I the one with someone with their head on my lap instead of the other way around? My money is on option number one...

This is the scenario. School's rooftop during lunch break. One Haruno Sakura, weredog... werebitch? Well just don't confuse it with a werewolf, because, apparently there is a clan of werewolves on this town and they get angry when people confuse them with weredogs.

Were was I again? Oh, right, she is currently resting with her head on my lap, dog ears and tail out for everyone to see. I must also take note that her tail under the school uniform's skirt lifts it up just enough to make me realize that were I not held in place by her head on my lap I could probably see everything under it.

Another thing to notice is that our school's rooftop is off limits for students, so we are alone here. Except for Kurama that is sitting in the corner watching me on my assigned duty of petting Sakura's head... You know what? I decided. I'm going old school on this place. I hereby designate Sakura as a dog-girl, you know like a cat-girl, except its a dog.

Let's take this moment to recap what happened since the end of last chapter. Found out Sakura was a dog-girl, learnt that practically every single "creature" from the old folklore is probably real and that my town is a global hotspot for these "creatures". Yeah... This story is getting less and less consistent.

Maybe I can start collecting monster girls like they were pokemon or something and then make them fight for experience points... Does this story have an exp. system? Probably not. Let's take this moment to advance the plot a little. Back inside the confines of the fourth wall I ear the door leading to the rooftop open and I take a moment to wonder why I am the only one worried about this.

I look at the door and see one Hyuuga Hinata walking towards us. Wait, let me do this right. Suddenly a wild Hyuuga Hinata appears! What will you do?...

Hinata is weird. And not just in the sense that she is seemingly incapable of uttering sentences with more than 2 words... She wears bandages. Both her arms and her right leg are practically all bandaged up and she even has a single bandage around her head going from the left of her jaw going across her nose and looping all the way around her head.

If she actually needs these bandages then she should get someone who actually knows what they are doing to actually tie them for her. The way she has them now it just makes her look cute. Well, that or an emo kid who cut herself on the nose by accident.

She is walking towards me and Sakura with her head lowered. Strange how Sakura does not seem to think it necessary to hide her dog-girl ears. My impressive deductive powers allow me to reach the conclusion that Hinata either knows about monsters or she is one herself. Bandages... I think I should know this one...

"N-Naruto-san!" she shouts, as if forcing herself to say this, which she was but stop nitpicking already, dammit! "Naruto-san, the truth is I have liked you for awhile now!" she is still shouting and her eyes are still closed. She is trembling so much she will probably register a 7 in the Mercalli scale... And that is probably the largest sentence she has ever spoken in her life, just so you know. "So I would like to ask you" at this point she is bowing to me so I just know something stupid is about to happen.

"will you please be buried together with me?!" guess what? I was right.

_It a mummy by the way, the word you were looking for._

Right... Let me just think on that for a moment. "Sorry Hinata-san, but I am not planning on being buried any time soon." somehow I could ear Kurama snickering as as Hinata invented a new shade of red with her face and ran off.


	6. Chapter 6

**Lightest Shade of Grey C6**

I seem to be detecting a pattern here. Today as I walk back home from school I seem to be accompanied by three women. Well, women in a more liberal sense. Let me do the roll call.

Grabbing my by the hand is one dog-girl Haruno Sakura. This one seems to be oblivious to the world around her as she walks me home.

Walking to my left is the vampire Kurama, no last name. This one seems to have an completely evil smile on her face as she imagines the many ways in which she will try to make my life descend into utter chaos.

Behind the trashcan 15 meters behind me is the mummy Hyuuga Hinata. This one seems to be alternating between glaring at Sakura and looking at me while she probably has fantasies about me involving a liberal amount of bandages and dirt...

Strange it may seem to you when I say that I do not know of which of them I should be scared of the most. This goes on for the trip back to my place with some random chatter between Sakura, Kurama and me. We all just pretended that we did not notice Hinata for some reason...

We reached my house and as Kurama and me walked in Sakura went over to her place next door. Yes, a childhood friend who lives next door. I know it's overused but I don't make the rules around here. After I greeted my mother downstairs and went up to my room only to be followed by Kurama. I sit on the chair in my room. Kurama grabs me by the collar of my shirt and pushes me down on the bed. Are we really going to make an habit out of this?

"Why do you insist on being in this kind of position with me?" I ask. "I mean the first time it was nice and all, but-" you would excuse the interruption but one must admit that there are some difficulties to speaking when someone is trying to shove a tongue into your mouth, and succeeding. A small curiosity here. Have you people noticed that even today with all of this talk about equal rights for men and women there is a lot of obvious discrimination between them?

I mean go on a date with a woman. You are expected to do all these stupid things like opening the door for them and paying for the bill. Women have been fighting to have the same right as men for centuries but then when this stuff comes up we have to do it because it's what is expected of us. Still I'd probably still do all of that stuff but someone needed to up it out there. Women are hypocrites.

Yeah, if I shoved my tongue down Kurama's throat she would probably rip mine off with her bare hands.

"Have you noticed anything different today Naruto?" she said after she stopped raping my mouth. I had noticed a lot of different thing today. Sakura's ears, Sakura's tail, a mummy stalking me and others but somehow I don't think that is what she was talking about so I shook my head no.

"Really, did you not notice the looks those girls were giving you?" I had no idea what the hell she was talking about and that was perfectly obvious from just looking at my face. "Those girls in class today. They could feel it, the youki within your body." the what now? "The youki that has begun to be released because of my bite last night..." somehow I felt this is was not good thing and I was about to be proven right. "This dark youki that just makes a woman want to make you hers..." she said as she actually started to grind herself against me. Another idea for a book. "How to stop your dark youki that just makes a woman want to make you hers from making women want to make you hers... for dummies."

Now this would have been I perfectly good moment to actually ask what the hell is a "youki" had she not bitten my neck again. You know I must confess something. You know how in those horror movies everybody always screams in pain when a vampire bites them... Doesn't actually happen in real life. In fact it actually feels kind of... good. The feeling of her lips against my neck. The pressure from the sucking of the actual blood. Her leg grinding against my crotch.

Now that I think about this, this is probably a bad idea. Losing blood is bad enough but Kurama seems to enjoy making me aroused at the same time and this makes me ask, do I really have enough blood going around that I can actually spare some to get an erection right now? Because I somehow doubt that. Well I did but as my head grew lightheaded from the blood loss I somehow stopped caring very much. I feel asleep. Or did I pass out? Same difference.

The following morning I would wake up to a very strange situation. In my bed on either side of my would be Kurama and Sakura in eared mode and, on the corner of the room staring at me as we slept, would be Hinata... Just there... Staring...

_Creepy..._

Not to end this with a line from my instinct as we now always seem to.

The following morning I would be torn between asking myself why it is these days there are always more people in my room when I wake up than when I go to sleep and wondering why my mother seemed to be entering the room with a seriously scary aura around her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Lightest Shade of Grey C7**

These days, my life has taken a turn for the weirder. In my room there are currently 4 women and only one of them is actually supposed to be here.

In the blue corner we have one Hyuuga Hinata, a mummy, who wishes to be buried together with me, she is currently trying to talk to my mother to ask her for her permission to be buried with me and failing at it. Now, I know she is a mummy but she really needs to stop thinking about burials so much...

In the evil corner we have Kurama, a vampire who for some reason decided to torment me. Her favorites pastimes involve plotting my misery, making out with me and sucking my blood until I pass out.

In the pink corner we have one Haruno Sakura, my dog-girl childhood friend. I don't know what she is doing in my room... Maybe she thinks I am her owner? She is at least half dog after all.

And, in the red corner, we have one Uzumaki Kushina, my mother. She is currently hugging my head to her chest as she throws everything within reach at the other three women. She is also currently shouting at them something about evil women corrupting her "Naruto-chan".

Let's skip this scene for the sake of my rapidly deteriorating mental health and admit that this did not end without blood spilt. My blood, to the great annoyance of Kurama, that is.

So, Kurama, Sakura, Hinata and I reached our school after "the dispute" and surprisingly Kiba had notting to say to me today. He just looked at me with those eyes. The eyes of a men who had lost all faith in life. Just kidding, his eyes teared up and he ran out the door...

You know your life is screwed up when you enjoy the monotony of being in class...

Yeah. So skip to lunch and start the mess that is my life once again. Today we are eating on the rooftop once again when one Yamanaka Ino joins us.

To describe Ino in one sentence... "Sakura's worst enemy" would have to do. They literally hate each other. Ino has a thing for teasing Sakura and Sakura has a thing for getting pissed at her. One could compare it to the relationship of a cat and a dog...

You will soon get that joke, don't worry about it.

After we finish eating we still have some time before having to go to class so we just stay on the rooftop... Well, Kurama, Hinata and I did. Sakura left chasing a fleeing Ino because of some silly thing she said. So it was basically just me and Kurama since Hinata was hiding behind a wall... "You know that one is one of us too, don't you?" I hear Kurama ask, destroying all my hopes for not adding to my already stupidly chaotic life.

"Somehow, deep deep inside, I kind of expected her to." I admit to her.

Skip the rest of day's classes. I am currently opening my shoebox while Sakura, Kurama and Hinata wait for me. Inside I find my shoes, no surprise there, and a letter. Classy stuff too. Textured paper and a rich font. You are cordially invited to the Hyuuga clan housings, no relationship to Hinata whatsoever, this Sunday afternoon it said.

This letter would bring about what would be known as the "Yuki-onna" incident.


	8. Chapter 8

**Lightest Shade of Grey C8**

Fast forward to Sunday.

Now, you may think that going somewhere on someone's precious day off just because someone tells you to is a stupid idea. You may also think that doing so when you where told to do that by letter is something only a dumb ass would do... Well, you aren't from around here.

In this town when the Hyuuga clan tells you to do something you do it. "Why?" you may ask? Because they are the most influential people in the country, that's why. From shopping malls to national defense, the Hyuuga have their hands in a lot of pies.

The Hyuuga are a traditional clan. The kind of people who build their house horizontally instead of vertically and wear kimonos in their everyday life. How do I know all this? Well I am currently in a room filled with about 20 Hyuuga women and only one of them isn't using a kimono.

I will take this moment to introduce Shirayuki Mizore, one of my classmates and somehow related to someone in the Hyuuga clan. She is the one person besides me not wearing a kimono. She is also sucking on a lollypop, though, thinking about it she always is...

Mizore is sitting in line with the other women in the room behind the Hyuuga elder who was currently to make me understand why it is that I should sign these papers in front of me and thus marrying into the Hyuuga clan... She said something about them being no more than a formality for the human officials...

I had tried telling her that I, not being of legal age, could not actually marry anyone yet but apparently such a meaningless law could not stop someone of the Hyuuga clan's wealth and influence... Well, these people are insane... "Sorry, but I will not marry someone I hardly even know just because you asked me." I said as I stood up, turned around and made for the door.

Is it just me or did this room just get colder?

"Naruto-san... It really is a pity you could not accept our offer... The truth, Naruto-san, is that the moment you walked in the front gates of our clan grounds you would not be leaving alive." Well, that sucks... "You have too much power for us to allow you to become our enemy!" I look behind me to find, instead of 20 overly egotistical women, 20 overly egotistical women with ice hair and claws... And Shirayuki Mizore who was just sitting there with a blank face... I run...

When I first came to the realization that monsters actually existed I figured that it might be possible to end in a situation like this. I had tried to think to myself once what I would do if it did happen. At the moment I couldn't actually think of anything... I mean if you are being chased by a supernatural being who can probably kill you just by looking at you what can you really do? Besides running and hoping you survive to tell this to your kids one day I mean. See? You can't think of anything either.

I should probably make friends with some black guy... In the movies the black guy always dies first that way making enough time for the rest of the characters to escape. It's a fact, not me being a racist or anything... A overly confident jock would probably work too.

From the the Hyuuga clan housing to the gate to the outside of the property there probably is around 500 meters of ground to cover which I challenged dashing at my full speed. In these 500 meters I discovered two things about Yuki-onnas. First thing was that they are not good with projectiles... I mean it, they could not have missed me any harder if they were actually trying to miss. The second thing that I learned you may ask? As a monster, they can run a lot faster than me.

Yeah... I got caught... And thus the Yuki-onna decided what to do with me. Freezing to death from the legs up were I stood. Let it never be said that the Hyuuga clan can not do a dramatic execution...

As I watched my body freeze and lost my sense of feeling I could not help but wonder. Maybe I will actually still be alive inside this block of ice after who knows how many years and then someone would find a way to wake me up without killing me... Somehow I doubt that...

Actually I am kind of sleepy right now... Maybe a quick nap would do me some good...

These were my last thoughts before I was completely encased in the block of ice and my heart stopped.


End file.
